This is not an issue of race, more like an issue of ridiculousness and the illusion that we have been thought as individuals. More like brainwashed into accepting or believing. The images you see below continues to confirm why there has to be a radical change in how we think, act, see ourselves and see others. Dark skinned individuals have no way of deciding before birth (used lightly) what color their skins are to be. The idea that black skinned individuals have to somehow prove their worth with their education, bank accounts and or outfits makes it the most ridiculous thing ever!
Then the idea behind a black female nursing her child and a white female doing the same. Are we to apologize for our ancestors being slaves 200 years ago? Share your thoughts
This week’s mazel goes to ms Johnetta Elzie a young African American lady who was somewhat pushed into advocacy due to the recent happenings of racial discrimination in the state of Missouri. I salute your courage. Below is a brief write up by Molly Simms about Ms Johnetta
It was more than empathy that connected Johnetta Elzie to the August 2014 shooting of Michael Brown in Ferguson, Missouri. “My mother used to work on the street where Mike was killed,” says Elzie, who was then living in St. Louis. “That could have been one of my brothers.”
Brown’s death was a call to arms for the 26-year-old, who at the time was taking a break from college to care for her younger sister. The day of the shooting, she jumped on Twitter to challenge inaccurate headlines. That same night, she headed to Ferguson. “I was spreading the word about where to drop off food or care packages and gathering people to clear away tear gas canisters.”
Though Elzie wouldn’t have called her actions “organizing,” she’s now at the helm of a nonviolent civil rights campaign. This Is the Movement, the newsletter she coedits with fellow activist DeRay Mckesson, keeps its approximately 15,000 subscribers updated on police brutality cases and protests across the country. Last spring it earned the duo the Howard Zinn Freedom to Write award from the literary association PEN New England.
At first, Elzie, who now lives in Chicago, felt apprehensive about being a face of a movement—”It was hard to hear people’s stories and still have the energy to fight”—but she says she’s since embraced the role. “I want to be an inspiration and a truth teller.” Next up: a workshop with young women to teach them what she’s learned—and help them find their own causes to be passionate about.
My fiance proposed in April with no engagement ring. He wanted to just go down to the courthouse and marry me plenty of times. I’m not a materialistic person at all. Even when we do get married, I probably wouldn’t wear my wedding ring every day, but I want my engagement ring now. My fiance is still in school and lives with his dad and can’t afford it now. What do you think about me buying my own ring and he gives me the money later on? —Anonymous
You want an engagement ring. You don’t have to apologize for that and it doesn’t make you materialistic, at all. Don’t feel bad about wanting a ring as a symbol of your commitment. The ring isn’t everything, but it is absolutely “a thing,” a cultural tradition (three-fourths of American brides wear diamond engagement rings, according to Kenneth Gassman, president of the Jewelry Industry Research Institute). It’s entirely normal to desire an engagement ring, even if you don’t plan to wear it every day once you are married.
Who pays for the ring isn’t really a big deal, even if it’s an expense that usually falls on the man in heterosexual relationships. Honestly, diamond engagement rings are a relatively modern concept. It’s actually the result of a marketing campaign by De Beers Consolidated Mines that was crafted in a Mad Men-esque marketing agency circa 1938. Have you heard the line, “A diamond is forever?” In 1999, Advertising Age named it the slogan of the 20th century. Continue reading
Why do guys send unsolicited d–k pics? I feel like as I talk to guys, we slowly venture into sexting, then the guy just takes it from zero to 100. I’m interested in him, but the picture just came out of nowhere. Do any girls actually like these things? How do you respond? —Anonymous
Hold up. There’s no such thing as “slowly venturing” into sexting, defined by Dictionary.com as “the sending of sexually explicit photos, images, text messages or emails by using a cellphone or other mobile device.” Sexting implies that you are interested in having sex with the person to whom you send the images.
I’m unclear how you do that slowly. Whatever you sent suggested that you were interested in having sex with him. He responded with a picture of his sexual organ to let you know that he’s also interested, to allow you to gauge his equipment and for you to anticipate what he can do with it. I’m unclear where this guy went wrong here.
That said, I’ve heard plenty of stories about men actually going from “zero to 100” and sending penis pictures when there was no indication whatsoever from the woman that they would be welcomed. I’ve received a set of pictures—yes, plural—from a guy out of the blue.
Probably, like you, I wondered, “Why?” Had I done something to mislead him? Did he think I was that type of girl?
I never arrived at a solid answer, and your letter finally prompted me to get one, as much for you as for myself. I hit up several guys in my circle to get to the bottom of what I’d started to think of as the “d–k-pic conundrum.” The answers, which the guys gave on the condition of complete anonymity, were fascinating.
First, the “why” should be obvious. “I never understood why my female friends were always so confused as to why dudes sent them,” said one man. “It’s clear that the pic is supposed to incite sexual interest or excitement. Whether you’re grossed out or not, you know damn well why he did it!”
But is a d–k pic a sign that he doesn’t respect you? Most of the guys agreed that wasn’t the case.
“Men don’t see it as a form of disrespect,” another gentleman explained. “It’s our way of being vulnerable. Most women, especially black women, are very vocal as it pertains to their wants in life. This includes career goals, marriage, family and a sex life. They have made it very clear how they want to be pleased in the bedroom. An unsolicited d–k pic is oftentimes a man’s way of saying, ‘I qualify.’”
In simpler terms, another man explained the pictures “as a way of saying, ‘You interested or nah?’ It’s basically just fishing, throwing the bait out there and hoping something [catches].”
Most of the dozens of men I conversed with understood how many women could perceive the photos as uncouth and ill-mannered. Still, the guys also thought that the guys who sent them ultimately were harmless and women were making a big deal out of nothing. Several suggested that the penis pictures might be one of those circumstances that support the idea that “men are from Mars, women are from Venus”—i.e., the sexes are just wired differently. Continue reading
Fontella Marie Holmes, 26, single mom, lotto winner. Black lady. She hit the numbers back in February to the tune of $88 million after taxes, and she has since dropped NINE milli bailing her man outta jail two times. I keep reading articles about how people are enraged and baffled by her spending this amount of money on a felonious man.
Me? Meh. Not so much.
1. She was with ol’ boy before she had money.
Holmes hit the lotto in February 2015 and used her proceeds to bail out Lamar McDow, who was arrested in November 2014, in March.
I’m going to suggest that an active drug distributor, who had a girlfriend with four children, probably spent some dough on her and the kids, and not just a lollipop here and there. Babies– FOUR babies– are expensive. And Holmes didn’t have a job at the time she hit the number. It’s not a reach to assume that McDow dropped some duckets on the regular for this family. He may have been funding Holmes — and her kids– entirely before she “got on”.
When the drug dealing man who held you down gets locked up, you return the “favor” by bailing him out.
2. She Doesn’t Care He’s A Drug Dealer
Look, I’m all for innocent until proven guilty, but you don’t just happen to find yourself in a room with 8,000 bags of heroin unless you are– have been for quite some time– into some nefarious sh–. You get caught with a bag of heroin? I’ll hear you out on saying the police planted it and you don’t know how it got there. But eight thousand bags? Son. That’s. Your. Heroin!!!
You also don’t stumble into EIGHT THOUSAND bags of heroin over night. You’ve been in the game for a minute, long enough to know people who know people to get your weight up, figuratively and literally. And if you are moving drugs at this level, unless your girlfriend is ADA Angela Valdes, she knows what you do for a living.
When McDow was arrested again in July, he was living with Holmes and her four kids in the trailer Holmes lived in before she hit the lotto. He’d also been upgraded from boyfriend to fiancé since his March release. They’ll have “matching lambos” any day now.
3. Perspective Matters
NINE MILLION DOLLARS is an insane amount to people who don’t have $88 million after taxes. Holmes dropped almost eight figures (kinda) getting her man out of jail and still has $79 million more… AFTER TAXES.
I have a personal philosophy on not visiting jail or being involved with men who do illegal hood rat sh– with their friends. As a personal rule, I don’t do bail money unless the case you caught was protecting our family, saving a life, or marching for civil liberties. I’d also drop stacks to free you if you have an encounter with a rogue cop. But otherwise, no.
That said, if I had a different philosophy on bail and say I had $50k saved? If I spend the same percentage freeing my man that Holmes did freeing hers, I’d spend about $5k. That’s not so bad. What you have to understand is that there are levels. We ain’t financially on Holmes’s.
4. She didn’t actually pay $9 million in bail.
Holmes used a bail bondsman to get McDow out of jail. So she’s plunked down a non-refundable 900k so far, about .01 percent of her winnings. She only pays the other $8.1 million if McDow fails to show up for court.
5. I never expected very much from Holmes (at least not anytime soon)
Prior to hitting the lotto, Holmes was a 26 year old, unemployed single mom with four kids by two men, dating a drug dealer and living with her mom. That’s a lot of not-the-best decision making in a relatively short life. Cashing a lump sum lotto check wasn’t going to turn her trajectory around on a dime.
Many people have this idea that money makes you smart, or changes you. Um, that’s what education, reading, travel, experience (if you learn from it) do. Money just gives you more options, and if you’re not at least mature, it makes you more of what you are. Holmes was a “trap queen” before the money. She’s still one 88 million dollars later.
by Demetria Lucas
You know how I feel about Janet Mock and how I feel about anyone that dares to be who they are in this crazy world that we live it. I do not understand how it feels to struggle with your gender but I am sure that I will not be judging anyone. I do not have to understand your struggle to respect it. That’s what this book means for me and I hope as you join me to read it, you begin to strip yourself off being judgmental.
‘I loved Krissi with all my heart’: Nick Gordon begs Bobby Brown for invite to Bobbi Kristina’s funeral
This is not a gossip blog but sometimes if something touches my heart, I have to share. I know you all know the story of Bobby Kristina and her struggle to stay alive. I am beyond heartbroken that this poor girl had to leave this earth like this. Her mom Whitney Houston touched so many lives. The poor girl was never the same after her mom passed. But now we are told that her boyfriend/fiancee is begging to attend her funeral. This is according to Daily Mail. I am beyond heartbroken by this outcome. RIP Krissy!
n email to Bobbi Kristina’s father, Gordon says he ‘needs to say goodbye’
He copied in Pat Houston, who is organising funeral in Georgia Saturday
Continues: ‘Krissi loved me very much and she would want me there’
Gordon declared a ‘person of interest’ by police since girlfriend’s death.
Nick Gordon has reportedly begged Bobby Brown for an invite to Bobbi Kristina Brown’s funeral in an emotional e-mail.
Whitney Houston’s daughter died on Sunday after six months in a coma and her boyfriend Gordon has been declared ‘a person of interest’ by police since her death.
He is alleged to have tried to buy drugs for the troubled 22-year-old on the day she was found unresponsive in her bathtub at her home in January.
I shared on instagram last week that I was picking this up. How many people read with me? I am so glad I read this book. I love her spirit, her experiences and her hustle.
“[a] warm, confiding memoir.” (VOGUE)
“It’s so good, you’ll want to take notes.” (PEOPLE)
“Diane’s book evokes everything she has lived through. It is honest, direct and fascinating — just like the author herself!” (Anna Wintour)
“In this era when girls are made to think it’s better to be a princess than a person, Diane von Furstenberg’s The Woman I Wanted to Be is just the reverse. I thank her for honesty, spirit, encouragement to be one’s own self in public and professional life, and a memoir that covers more human experience than most novels. Pick it up — you won’t put it down.” (Gloria Steinem)
“Diane von Furstenberg’s story offers a behind-the-scenes look into the ups and downs of building a global business, creating an enduring brand, and finding true love. By sharing the path that enabled her to become the woman she wanted to be, Diane shows all of us how to live a life of focus and passion.” (Sheryl Sandberg)
“Diane is the original modern princess who created the iconic wrap dress and has influenced fashion everywhere with her talent, lifestyle, elegance and beauty. Every girl will love reading her book.” (Kate Moss)
“It has been a gift to read this book, and a true privilege to learn and discover that much more about DVF. What a thrill to be given an opportunity to peek even further into her life.” (Sarah Jessica Parker)
“The legendary designer Diane von Furstenberg has a lot in common with her iconic wrap dress: practical yet sexy, demure yet revealing, sturdy yet fragile. This memoir is an intriguing page turner filled with her revelations about life, business, family and love. Fearless about naming names and probing her own failings, she analyses a ‘little fling’ with Richard Gere as sincerely as she does her midlife retreats from the fashion area—and her dynamic comeback. Her core philosophy? ‘Turn negatives into positives and be proud to be woman.’ She emerges, at 67, as a witty and reflective grownup, albeit one with plenty of surprises up her beautifully draped sleeve.” (MORE)
“. . . an honest an introspective look into the labyrinthine history behind one of the most iconic female entrepreneurs in fashion. Written in elegant yet straightforward prose . . . The designer candidly speaks of missteps and periods of her life which guided her away from what she truly wanted out of her life, and how she dealt with each situation, with grace and aplomb.” (Bustle.com)
“Diane von Furstenberg’s life combines the hallmarks of a fairy tale with the more sober reality of a career woman—and single mother—who longs to have it all. . . . The book is as charming and erratic as von Furstenberg herself . . . the early pages paint a vivid picture . . . her account of those first years is colorful and poignant.” (Finanacial Times)
“[N]ow I find Diane the super person that folks are most curious about. Diane never let herself fail at anything; or if she faltered, she climbed back up. It is a pleasure to read a ‘positive’ book that is not just manufactured nonsense . . . We get a real look at a woman in her 60s who’s still in her prime. She has a lesson for all of us.” (Worcester Telegram)
“von Furstenberg’s candid memoir contains hard-earned wisdom that she eagerly shares with women of all ages and backgrounds. A fascinating read for anyone interested in the behind-the-scenes world of contemporary fashion.” (Booklist)
“In this captivating memoir, fashion powerhouse von Furstenberg thoughtfully reflects on her colorful life—and doesn’t skimp on the juicy details. Von Furstenberg begins movingly by writing of her need to please her mother . . . then moves on to her life as a jet-set princess and fledgling designing in New York City, her invention of the iconic jersey wrap dress in the early 1970s, and stories of her children . . . She outlines her many positive contributions to the fashion industry, but admirably doesn’t sugarcoat business missteps . . . This is a fascinating glimpse into the life of one of the fashion world’s more enduring stars that will fascinate fashionistas and fans of strong, creative women.” (Publishers Weekly)
“With humility and honesty, von Furstenberg’s reflections on a life lived in the grandiose couture spotlight will delight both trendy, fashion-forward readers and budding designers eager to follow in her footsteps.” (Kirkus Reviews)
“No stranger to the spotlight DVF’s most recent venture, a book entitled The Woman I Wanted to Be chronicles how privilege opened certain doors in her early success, how much is still needed to be done to achieve equality, an insight into the behind-the-scenes ups and downs of running a global business and a story that is in equal parts wisdom, sobering reality and fairy tale.” (Los Angeles Fashion)
“Designer Diane von Furstenberg’s life reads like a fairy tale. She details it all with sincerity and humility in this memoir.” (Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)
“an inspiring, compelling, deliciously detailed celebrity autobiography, the book is as much of a smashing success as the determined, savvy, well-intentioned woman who wrote it.” (Chicago Tribune)
About the Author
Diane von Furstenberg entered the fashion world in 1970 and four years later introduced her famous wrap dress. Her luxury fashion brand, DVF, is now available in more than fifty-five countries all over the world. Director of the Diller-von Furstenberg Family Foundation, she is an active philanthropist and supporter of emerging female leaders and social entrepreneurs. In 2015, she was named one of the Time 100 Most Influential People. She is the author of The Woman I Wanted to Be and Diane: A Signature Life.
On Sunday, July 26th 2015 I hosted a Sip and Read for a few of my friends, family and avid supporters. It was an invite for just 30 exquisite ladies. Two of them were ladies that won the opportunity to attend because of their responses to a post I had made on my blog about Child Marriage In Malawi. Sure enough they were in attendance and I was so honored to meet them.
The idea behind the event was to gather some women together to encourage them to pursue their dreams just as I have and to recognize that all “successful” people started with a dream and a step. The event was full of laughter, food, drinks ( i mean drinks) and plenty of signing and reading.
I read from Chapter 1 in my book “Screw It Go Ahead and Quit Cold Turkey” and from Chapter 3 in “Miss Independent, Misunderstood”. Everyone was so patient and so kind and listened while I read on. There was also the Q&A session which was so fun as some of the questions were unexpected and even got me thinking. I get different questions at different events be it at book signing, radio, tv or on the red carpet. But this time, it was so intimate that I answered so honestly and fearlessly every single question and it felt almost therapeutic. Both books can be purchased wherever books are sold but the easiest would probably be MY WEBSITE or on AMAZON 20% of all purchases go to the Pamela Erere Foundation (PEF), so you would not only be supporting me but also the many women and children in Nigeria who do not have any support otherwise. There were so many pictures but I have attached a few. Did I say I was so overwhelmed with the love and support that I cried? Yes I did. lol
Ok this is a new show that just started airing on NdaniTV, I heard about it and did not know what to expect. My friend sent me the link and I found the topic interesting especially because most of the guests are campaigning for the lack of abstinence in the first place. Can I say I m in love with the host and I one hundred per cent share her views? lol. Think what you want, even those who claim to have sex all the time cheat and are cheated on.
Note:Seodi White is an international development, law and gender expert from Malawi. She runs Maxi Change 360 Degrees Consult, a consultancy firm, and is a researcher, policy analyst and program designer in women’s rights. The views expressed in this commentary are solely hers.
CNN: About 15 years ago, I was doing research on inheritance laws in Malawi and their impact on women.
Part of my research methodology was to engage in focus group discussions with women in village settings. In order to do this in any village in Malawi, one has to seek permission from the village chief.
And so I did. The chief told me to come back the next day so that he can have time to mobilize the women, as well as give them proper notice of the proposed discussion.
When I came back the next day, the “women” had indeed gathered waiting for me. However I noticed that the “women” were not women, as such. They were… kids. Teenage girls.
I said to the chief “I was hoping to talk to women and not to kids or girls, as I don’t think they would understand much about inheritance.” His response was, “but these are our women; look, they have babies with them and they are all married.”
I was shocked. Then it dawned on me, “aah, girl-child marriages.” After asking, I found the girls’ ages ranged from 13 to 18, with two being 24.
This then spurred me into action and it was the beginning of a decade-plus journey of understanding girl-child marriages in my country and fighting for the practice to end.
What I found out was disheartening as the statistics came in. I was horrified to learn that Malawi has one of the highest rates of child marriage in the world. It is ranked eighth of the 20 countries that are considered to have the highest rates of child marriage by the U.N. Population Fund.
On average, one out of two girls in Malawi will be married by their 18th birthday, according to the United Nations. In 2010, half of the women (50%) aged 20–24 years were married or in a union before age 18 (compared to 6.4%of boys), while 12% of women married before they were 15 compared to only 1.2% of men. Child marriage is in both rural and urban areas. It is also higher than the regional average for sub-Saharan Africa (37%).
‘Law, save the girls!’
Being a lawyer, I looked to the law. “My hero the law, save the girls,” I thought! Yet, I soon found out that this was a complex story.
The Constitution of Malawi, which is the supreme law of the land from whom all legal authority is derived, has provided for some measures of protection for all children. However the same Constitution defines children as those aged 16 and below. The United Nations defines children as those aged 18 and below and so to that extent the Constitution does not comply with international standards on definitions of childhood.
The Constitution also allows marriages of persons aged 18 and below and it does not have a cut-off point where marriage is actually prohibited.
This means for all intents and purposes, the Constitution of the Republic of Malawi allows child marriages. Alas the law had failed me!
But there was hope in the air. In February, Malawi’s parliament passed the Marriage, Divorce & Family Relations Bill of 2015 into law.
This law was born amid the outcry against girl-child marriage, as the country had realized the dangers of girl-child marriage.
Save for a few areas, it is a very progressive piece of legislation, particularly from a women’s rights perspective. Among other things, the law prohibits marriage for anybody below the age of 18.
So, does it mean that the Constitutional provisions fall away? The spanner in the works is that since the Constitution allows marriage below the age of 18, the new law to the extent that it prohibits child marriage is invalid.
So whilst many have celebrated the new law, I haven’t, as girls remain shackled by a Constitutional provision that basically allows child marriage. So until the Constitution changes and recognizes children as those aged 18 and above, and therefore puts marriage age at 18 giving many girls the opportunity to go to school and get educated, I will remain sad as I was 15 years ago.
‘Guarantee for poverty’
I will remain sad because I know the cost of child marriage. It deprives girls of education and undermines their self-confidence and self-identity. It also makes them prone to physical and emotional abuse by their so called husbands.
Further to this, girl-child marriage inevitably means early parentage and higher risks of maternal mortality. As if this is not enough, studies have shown that girl-child marriage is a risk factor in the transmission of HIV and other sexually transmitted infections, as young wives do not have much bargaining power to negotiate safe sex with older men.
Girl-child marriages need to be prohibited tough the Constitution because they are a violation of every conceivable human right including the right to life, health, education, human dignity and development.
What I know for sure child marriage is a guarantee for poverty among girls in my country and I want it to end. No ifs or buts.