From Monday to sunday I have a TREAT for everyone. This is one of the ones you don’t want to miss
(The one that’s always saying you’re not good enough.)
Ah, the promise of a fresh new calendar—a fresh new You! This is the year it will finally happen: You’ll envision your ideal life, purge your bad habits, and sail on to perfection! For almost half an hour! At least, that’s how long it takes for the burbling Maria von Trapp voice in my head to be drowned out by one that sounds more like Don Rickles. Don never lets Maria finish a thought:
“This year I’m going to exercise during lunchtime—” “No, Walrus Girl, you’re going to lunch during exercise time.”
“I vow to stay calm no matter—” “You and how much Valium, Cruella?”
“I’ll say affirmations to boost my self-esteem—” “Loser!Loser!Loser!Loser!”
How do I counteract this negativity? I have psychotic breaks. But that is not what you should do. You should follow these tips:
Recognize Your negative Voice As a 2-Year-Old’s Tantrum
Trying to reason with it only increases the hysteria. Instead, take your inner 2-year-old to a quiet place and let it throw its fit. Write down all the cruel judgments until they fade to a grumble.
Accept That Some of Your Self-Criticism May Be True, But Never Let Failure End the Story
Instead of saying no to the negative voice, say, “Yes, and….” For example, “Yes, last year I jogged only as far as that new kielbasa stand…and I also managed to stop a few binges by reading trashy novels instead.” Speaking of which…
Never Just Quit; Always Substitute
Bad habits fill needs, so find good alternatives to them. But remember, push-ups can’t substitute for pancakes unless you love push-ups (in which case we will never be really close). Companionship, laughter, play—these things can sub for pancakes…most of the time. And that’s enough.
Instead of Planning to be Perfect, Plan to do a Little Better
Win 51 percent of the battles, and you’ll win the war.
Get started right now by following some of the advice in O’s Live Your Best Year Toolkit. You know if you try to follow it all, you’ll end up rupturing something…and you’ll find a way to sew it back together, because by God, this year all your stories are going to end happily.
What do you do when you’re stressed, swamped or seriously overwhelmed? Unleash hell on an innocent bystander, of course! But if you’d rather stop displacing your feelings and start facing your troubles head-on, Martha Beck has a game plan for you.
So your best friend at the office is suddenly let go, and you spend the rest of the day dreading that the ax is about to fall on you, too. Later, at home, you hold it together—until your 6-year-old pops out of bed for the fifth time, asking for another glass of water. At which point you hear yourself roar, “Oh for heaven’s sake! Would it kill you to just go to sleep for once?!”
Or maybe as soon as you leave the office, you head to your parents’ house for your second shift. Your mother suffers from Alzheimer’s, and your father recently broke his hip. You manage to stay cheerful with both of them, but at home that night, when your husband innocently asks where to find the peanut butter, you snap, “Figure it out, Sherlock.” Continue reading
In today’s motivational Monday, I encourage you to love yourself and the skin you’re in.
If you even remotely know me, you know I spend my Sundays on OWN. From SuperSoul Sunday to reruns of life class, fix my life and all the other heavenness that comes with OWN. But this weekend was particularly eye opening and has prompted my post for today.
“Colorism”- is a practice of discrimination in a particular community in which those with lighter skin tones are treated more favorably than those with darker skin tones.
As Iyanla Vanzant and Oprah dissected the matter with the members of the audience, it struck me how we as a race,a people are quick to judge one another in the exact same way the we are being judged by the “white” race.
Some lighter skinned ladies disagreed that they received preferential treatment because they were “lighter”. They insisted it was harder for them because they had to deal with other races as well as their own race. One guest said it best “it seems like you are not accepted by your own people”.
Whereas the darker skinned females thought that life was harder for them since the lighter skinned supposedly had better opportunities.
Whoever created the illusion that one skin tone was better or more beautiful than the other? That person should be hung to a plant.
In the past, bone thin women were considered more beautiful, but now, thicker females with curves have been embraced. Thanks to the likes of Kim Kardashian and Beyonce.
The fact remains that people are judgmental and bitter. Blacks claim they are being discriminated upon, yet they discriminate against their own race? People still think gay people should not be allowed to marry whomever they want? Yet, we think we are equal? want to be? Makes no sense whatsoever. The exact thing that you suffer as a black, you inflict on another the second you pass a judgement based on their race, gender, color, sexuality etc.
The sooner we realize how this affects future generations, the better.
Unless you work from home or don’t work at all, these tips will love. For today’s Wisdom Wednesday I have decided to share some wisdom from these amazing pros that I found online.
The Problem: The “Should I Have Said That?” Endless Replay Loop
What’s happening: You made it home and to your couch, but you’re so busy second-guessing the decisions you made today that you can’t immerse yourself in anything else (including the new episode of Mad Men). Continue reading
For this fruitful Friday, i decided to share something about charity.
Culled from my girl’s blog http://www.heelsandmimosas.com/2014/08/massage-envy-spa-dfw-healing-hands-for.html I had heard about this event but wanted to share since Jasmine had the full scoop.
Massage Envy Spa DFW and the Arthritis Foundation have joined forces to host the fourth annual Healing Hands for Arthritis, a one-day national event to build awareness and raise funds to fight arthritis. On September 17, Massage Envy Spa will once again sponsor this one-day, in-clinic event across the nation to raise money and awareness about the devastating effects of arthritis on the body and how massage therapy can help relieve and control certain symptoms. Additionally, Murad®, their exclusive skin care partner, will donate 10 percent of all sales of products sold at Massage Envy Spa locations during the event. Wyndmere and BioFreeze will also donate 10 percent of all their retail sales on event day. Join the movement and book your appointment for September 17 and help 50 million men, women, and children with arthritis get the relief they deserve.
Author Gary Shteyngart sheds some light on his memoir and how embracing your past is very paramount toward understanding your present. Who’s still talking about throwback Thursday, this is more like “help from the past” Loved it and decided to share. I promised you guys wellness right? Well, here you go
There is no better season for losing yourself in someone else’s past. Author Gary Shteyngart on the perils and pleasures of plundering the secrets of those you love. Continue reading
by my blogger rush Demetria Lucas. I thought many of you would learn something like I did. See below;
Seven years ago, I was invited to a rooftop soirée, an industry- only event for women. It was a Who’s Who of industry professionals. I knew their names and faces. They didn’t know mine. Continue reading
Sometimes the big realization is that nothing can, or will—or has to—change.
By Beth Levine
Recently, a friend asked me if I’d ever been to Israel. Before I could even open my mouth, she added slyly, “Oh, that’s right. You can’t get on a plane.” I think she was trying to be funny.
There was a time when I would have died a thousand deaths: She knows my dirty secret; she’s making fun of me; she thinks I’m pathetic; I am, in fact, pathetic. This time, however, I stopped the tape in my head and played a new one. It said, “Everyone has a screw loose somewhere, and having a thing about planes happens to be mine.”
You have no idea how hard I’ve worked to get here. Continue reading
Ok SNL peeps are crazy. lol! For a good laugh. The jokes are still flowing in wake of Solange’s elevator attack on Jay Z. Last night, Saturday Night Live got in on the laughs with a segment dedicated to the infamous squabble between the famous in-laws. In the skit, Jay being played by Jay Pharoah and Solange played by Sasheer Zamata give an explanation of the elevator brawl seen ’round the world. Check out the hilarious clip, above.